Chubby chasers: preference, fetish, and how to tell the difference

Updated September 2026

A chubby chaser is someone who's attracted to bigger bodies. Usually that means a man who likes big women, though women and gay men use the term too. Being one isn't a problem.

The question worth asking is whether he likes bigger women, or only their size. This page covers both sides: for men wondering whether their attraction is OK, and for women trying to tell the good ones from the rest.

Is "chubby chaser" offensive?

It depends who's saying it and how.

The phrase grew up in gay communities, where big men were "chubs" and the men who liked them were "chasers". By the 1970s they had their own social clubs. Plenty of people still use it about themselves, cheerfully and without a second thought.

It's also used as a put-down, mostly by people who think being attracted to bigger bodies is strange. Some women dislike it for a different reason: "chasing" makes them sound like the prey in someone else's hobby.

If you'd rather use something neutral, "fat admirer" is the older, politer term. "Into bigger women" works too, and nobody needs a glossary for it.

Preference or fetish? Where the line is

Here's a useful way to see it. A fetish adds something to sex. A core attraction is something desire runs on.

For many men who like bigger women, size isn't an optional extra. It's simply what they find attractive, the way other men are drawn to redheads or tall women. That's a preference, and it doesn't need fixing.

It isn't new, either. Painters were celebrating fuller figures centuries ago, and the word "Rubenesque" comes from one of them.

Where things go wrong has nothing to do with how strong the attraction is. It's about whether the woman is still a whole person in it. A man can be very into bigger bodies and still be interested in her jokes, her plans and her opinions. The trouble starts when her body is the whole story, and she could be swapped for any other woman her size without him noticing much.

How women tell the difference

You can usually tell within a few conversations. Here's what to look for.

Signs he's into you, and your body is part of it:

he asks about your work, your weekend, what makes you laugh
he compliments how you look without making your size the headline
he's happy to be seen out with you, and doesn't keep you to evenings in
he takes "no" or "not yet" without sulking or trying again later
he talks about other women, bigger or smaller, with basic respect

Signs your size is the main attraction:

every conversation drifts back to your body, or one part of it
he's oddly interested in what you eat, or how much
weight gain or "getting bigger" comes up early, as a hope rather than a joke
he mentions a kink before he knows your surname, or brings it back after you've said no
he only suggests meeting somewhere private
he runs down thinner women to prove he's on your side

A kink that both people are into is their own business. What isn't OK is pushing one on someone who hasn't said yes. The guide for women joining BBW Connex covers how to block and report anyone who does.

For men: showing it's you, not just your type

If you're into bigger women, don't hide it. On a BBW site you'd look strange trying. What you need is for her to see that she's more to you than a body type.

Mention the preference once, then move on. It doesn't need repeating.
Compliment what's specific to her. If you could say it to any woman her size, it isn't doing much.
Be glad to be seen with her. Plenty of women have met men who were keen in private and awkward in public.
Leave kinks for later. Wait until you know each other and she's shown she's interested.

For first messages that get this right, see how to approach a BBW woman. For what women on the site are looking for, see what BBW women want.

Women chasers, gay chasers and BHM

Women can be chubby chasers too. Plenty of women are specifically drawn to big men, and some happily call themselves chasers. On BBW Connex, big men usually go by BHM, short for big handsome man.

In gay communities, chubs and chasers have a long history and a culture of their own. The same principle holds there as everywhere else: the attraction is fine, and treating someone as a body type isn't. More on big guys and couples in BBW hookups, and on the terms in BBW vs curvy vs thick.

Is there a dating site for chubby chasers?

Yes, several, and some lean hard into fetish content. BBW Connex is built for casual dating, and being into bigger women, or big men, is simply normal there. You don't have to explain your attraction, and nobody's size is something to apologize for. Women here can also tell fairly quickly who's respectful, so it pays to be.

Join free and see who's on the site

Or browse the US, UK and Australia.

Chubby chaser questions

What's another word for a chubby chaser?

"Fat admirer", or FA, is the older and more neutral term. Many people just say they're into bigger women or big men.

Are chubby chasers common?

More common than the jokes suggest. Plenty of men are attracted to bigger women and simply don't say so, often because they've been teased about it.

Can women be chubby chasers?

Yes. Some women are specifically attracted to big men, and some use the term about themselves.

Is it wrong to only date bigger women?

No. Having a type is normal. It only becomes a problem if the type matters more than the person, or if you'd be embarrassed to be seen with her.

How do I know if he's a chubby chaser or actually likes me?

Watch what he talks about. If he's interested in your life as well as your body, and happy to be seen with you, he likes you. If it always comes back to your size, trust that.